Unhappily married couples are sometimes able to work through their issues in couples therapy. When communication has completely broken down in a New Jersey marriage, though, couples therapy may be out of the question. To get some mental health relief, spouses may start seeking individual therapy to talk through their marriage issues.
When you find a well-trained therapist, individual therapy can be constructive and may even improve your marriage. However, there are many cases where individual therapy actually makes things worse and leads a couple closer to divorce. Here are three warning signs that your therapist is hurting your marriage:
#1: You only talk about your spouse’s flaws
An effective individual therapist would never allow you to spend an entire session bashing your spouse. Therapy is supposed to be about personal development, so therapists usually encourage clients to explore their own mistakes in a relationship. By focusing only on your spouse’s flaws, your therapy session may actually just be a venting session.
#2: Your therapist diagnoses your spouse
We can all make guesses about another person’s motivations and/or personality disorders. However, most therapists understand that there are two sides to every story and two unique perspectives that are equally important. If your therapist starts diagnosing or labeling your spouse without having met them first, this is unprofessional behavior.
#3: Your therapist suggests divorce
If you reveal to your therapist that you are in physical danger around your spouse, then it would be perfectly reasonable for your therapist to suggest that you leave. However, other than threats to your physical safety, your therapist shouldn’t be suggesting divorce during your sessions. You may decide to divorce your spouse after getting therapy, but it should be your own decision.